Picture the scene

It's Thursday morning in the vicinity of Trinity Road, B6. A bespectacled Irishman takes to his desk to peruse the morning papers with a coffee when the phone rings....

"Hello? Martin?" speaks the softly spoken voice. "Yes?" replies Mr O' Neil. "It's Rafael, Rafael Benitez." comes the reply.

With a roll of the eyes O' Neil answers.

"Yes Max, err, Rafael. What can I do for you?"

Benitez: "Why does everyone call me that? Anyway I was thinking. Just last night as a matter of fact. Around 8:10pm and then, funnily enough, 8:15pm as well. You quite like this Scot Carson fellow you have on loan from us. Don't you?"

O' Neil: "Yes Max, err, Rafael. Sorry. He's been quite good for us of late. Why do you ask?"

Benitez: "I've looked over our squad and given you like the guy I think we've got adequate cover for Jose Reina in some kid we saw catch something out the back of the Kop then run away. I've no idea what it was but he could fair run. Much faster than Stevie G could. Anyway you remember I said I would consider letting him leave last week and the figure those wonderful press people came up with was around 8 to 10 million."

The sound of choking and coffee spluttered everywhere comes from the office in B6.

Benitez: "Martin? Are you ok?"

O' Neil: "Yes Max, err, Rafael. I'm still here, just. So let me get this right. We liked, err like, your keeper and apparently would like to keep him so now you're prepared to let him go for 8 to 10 million?"

Benitez: "Martin you have it in one. It's so good we could verbally agree a deal. I'm sure you won't regret it. He's an outstanding prospect with safe hands and a wonderful sense of positional play. It's almost uncanny how good he is."

O' Neil: "Rafael...."

Benitez: "Yes Martin?"

O' Neil: "I saw the game...."

The familiar drone of an ended call is all too apparent.

Benitez: Martin? Hello? Are you there? Hello?? MARTIN!!

Benitez puts the phone done and shakes his head before shouting to the next room.

Benitez: "Pako? Xavi?"

The assistant manager and goalkeeping coach enter the room

Benitez: "I'm sorry guys. I tried but it looks like we're stuck with him."