Jokes Thread - Page 31

LemonyBrainAid · 09-06-2006, 17:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Druchii

I lol'd at that one

... freak

I laugh at nug's puns.

Druchii · 09-06-2006, 17:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by LemonyBrainAid

... freak

I laugh at nug's puns.

YEah, Nug's puns are bad at times though... Still, funny

budwieser · 09-06-2006, 19:50

I washed my Cat the other day, Took me Ages to get the Fur off of my Tongue.

Druchii · 09-06-2006, 19:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by budwieser

I washed my Cat the other day, Took me Ages to get the Fur off of my Tongue.

Oh god... They get worse...

me283 · 09-06-2006, 21:53

I took my car in for a service...

...and the vicar said "You can't bring that in here!"

Kliro · 09-06-2006, 22:16

Why can't geoffrey drive a tractor??

Because he's an orange

Druchii · 09-06-2006, 22:20

Is it only me who doesn't get that?

danielf · 09-06-2006, 22:36

Q: When it goes dark at night, where does the light go?

A: Have a look in the fridge

Druchii · 09-06-2006, 22:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by danielf

Q: When it goes dark at night, where does the light go? A: Have a look in the fridge

Hahahhaah

It's true, but why does it go into the cold? I don't get it...

gazzae · 09-06-2006, 22:37

A man calls the hospital. He says, "You got to send help! My wife's going into labour!"

The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

He says, "No! Its her second, she had problems with the first thats why you have to come quick."

oh wait........

danielf · 09-06-2006, 22:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Druchii

Hahahhaah

It's true, but why does it go into the cold? I don't get it...

Dunno, having a rest I suppose

Druchii · 09-06-2006, 23:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by danielf

Dunno, having a rest I suppose

I might pluck up the courage to ask it one day... :p

Kliro · 09-06-2006, 23:15

There's an Aussie radio station, and the presenters asked for people to ring in with words they use everyday, but that aren't in the dictionary.

So he takes the first call.

(read following aloud in aussie accent, ignoring requests from relatives to stop)

Presenter: Hello mate, your our first caller, how are ya?

Caller: Ahh I'm fine mate

Presenter: Well what everyday word have you got for us mate?

Caller: Well, it's gaan

Presenter: Gaan? that's not a word, how'd you use that mate?

Call: Well, like this; alrite mate, gaan f**k yourself

Presenter: that's not nice mate, you're gonna have to go. Right let's get the next caller on.

Hello mate, your our second caller, what word have you got for us?

Caller: Alrite mate, its shmee

Presenter: Shmee?? Now I've never heard that before, how'd you use that??

Caller: Shmee ahain, gaan f**k yourself!

peanut · 09-06-2006, 23:36

A bloke wakes up from an aneasthetic still got oxygen mask on then a nurse comes round to give him a quick freshen up, he says to her "are my testicals black"
She replies "I'm just hear to wash you"
He says again "are my testicles black"
She says "hold on i'll have a look"
So she pulls back the sheets yanks up his d**k, and cups his balls in her hands and wobbles them about a bit, and says "no they look ok"
At this point he takes off his mask and says "Ok thats all very nice thanks but are my test results back"

Druchii · 09-06-2006, 23:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by peanutkp

A bloke wakes up from an aneasthetic still got oxygen mask on then a nurse comes round to give him a quick freshen up, he says to her "are my testicals black" She replies "I'm just hear to wash you" He says again "are my testicles black" She says "hold on i'll have a look" So she pulls back the sheets yanks up his d**k, and cups his balls in her hands and wobbles them about a bit, and says "no they look ok" At this point he takes off his mask and says "Ok thats all very nice thanks but are my test results back"

Haha, heard it before and still its good