[lostandconfused]

Boy 'O' (who cannot be named for legal reasons) a rather violent, seven-year old was at the centre of a Merthyr Tyddfil Matrimonial Court drama this morning, when he challenged the court ruling over whom should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his Aunty Gwladys, in keeping with child custodial law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his Aunty Gwladys actually beat him more than his parents did and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, Myfanwy & Trefor, the boy cried and said that they too would often beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two adjournments to check legal references and confer with the Department of Social Services child welfare workers and also Save the Children consultants, the judge granted temporary custody to the ENTIIRE England Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of
beating anyone.

His social worker, a very sexy Amanda McClaren (who can be named for Publicity purposes) said in a husky voice: "I'm so glad that the court has decided to listen to the little boy's plea - he has a very, very wise head on those wee shoulders. It is true that England have not beaten anyone since 1966."


****takes cover behind the sofa, ready for the onslaught!****